Aliceana’s Journey Home: Labor

                It all started on the 4^th of July. My mom had been telling everyone that my baby was going to be born on the 4^th of July, and everyone believed her. I got so many phone calls the days leading up to the 4^th asking if I was in the hospital yet, even though my due date wasn’t until the 10^th. I started feeling extremely crampy that day and assumed I was having Braxton Hicks contractions (I hadn’t experienced them at all during my pregnancy). I told my husband that I was going to be so mad if my water broke while we were visiting my mom, she was not going to be right about the day Aliceana was going to be born I’m too stubborn for that. I did make and eat a few pieces of Chocolate Labor Cake, I’ll share the recipe and pictures of that later. Well that day came and went and I didn’t go into labor. However at about 1:30 AM I had pains that woke me out of…well I’d say a good sleep, but when you’re almost 10 months pregnant chances are you aren’t sleeping well anyway..So I tried to get back to sleep, but the pain was getting to be too much to ignore. I went downstairs so I wouldn’t wake up my husband and started timing my contractions. They were spaced out randomly and all completely different lengths of time. So I decided that these again were Braxton Hicks and tried to get myself back to sleep. 

I got some more sleep and then we went on with our day as normal. It was so extremely hot out, but I asked my husband if he would mind if we went to the mall to do some walking to maybe get things moving. It definitely started working because it was getting so hard to walk through the contractions after only a little while. We went home and started watching the most recent season of Weeds on DVD. That’s when the pain got to be too much, I’m pretty sure it was a combination of contractions and Aliceana grinding her head way too low. I started crying on the couch, I couldn’t control it, I just had to cry. That’s when my husband suggested we go to the hospital, I told him I would be fine and that I didn’t want to be sent home if it wasn’t the real thing. We made some dinner, we tried making our own breaded mushrooms and they were awesome. I only had a couple though because I didn’t feel too good, I think my husband had eaten something else, but I can’t remember. If I had known that this would be the last thing that I got to eat for a very long time I’m sure I would have had more and tried to eat something else. That’s when I decided that we could probably head to the hospital, even though I just knew they were going to send me home. We got all of the little last minute hospital things all packed up and headed towards the hospital. 

Of course on the 5 minute drive there I hadn’t felt a single pain, I felt so stupid for even thinking I should be going to the hospital. Then when I stepped out of the car there was the pain again, so I felt just slightly better. The main part of the hospital was closed, so we headed straight to labor and delivery wing of the hospital. I got to the desk and explained that I was having contractions a few minutes apart, which wasn’t exactly true I was still feeling them really sporadically. I was checked into a delivery room and changed into a gown. I didn’t take my bra off though, that bra stayed on during my entire labor I didn’t even think about it I actually kept my underwear on too until my husband told me that I probably couldn’t keep those on, duh! I got hooked up to the monitors and the nurse left us alone. When she came back a bit later she said my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and when she examined me I was dilated to 2. I was completely shocked that I was having contractions that frequently I couldn’t feel half of them. So she was going to put a call into my obstetrician, who happened to be on call, to see if I should stay or labor at home. Since I was Strep B positive they opted for me to stay. I got hooked up to an IV and was told that I should walk around or at least stand to get things moving. So my husband and I walked around the maternity wing with the creakiest IV stand ever. The only people who knew I was in the hospital that night were my husband’s dad, my grandpa, and we tried telling my mom but she wasn’t answering her e-mail or phone. 

It was close to 10:00 PM by the time my doctor came in. She told me that she was going to break my water at 2:30 AM. I knew I wanted my epidural before she broke my water so I made sure I told my nurse that so they could prepare. She asked if I wanted other pain medication before that, and I told her that I could handle the pain until then. I didn’t want the intravenous medication as I had heard that it would make you kind of loopy. I don’t think 15 minutes went by before I changed my mind. I was given Nubain, and it was pretty wonderful. My pain was gone and I only felt a little foggy I was a pretty happy patient at that point. We watched some episodes of The Mighty Boosh on DVD for a while. We napped while we waited for the epidural, as much as you can nap when you have nurses checking on you all the time. After the first few times they turned on the light my husband actually put a blanket over his head (which he doesn’t remember doing at all). At around 1:30 they put in my epidural. It was a little painful, but at that point it’s not really a big deal. I’m just glad I never saw the needle. 

At 2:30 AM they broke my water, it was pretty uneventful. I didn’t know what to expect when they broke my water, I definitely wasn’t expecting to see that the instrument was basically a long narrow popsicle stick (my mom kindly reminded me that it would be more like a tongue depressor since hospitals probably don’t use popsicle sticks haha). I didn’t feel anything at all, but then again I had an epidural. I was expecting some sensation though. We went back to sleep and everything went great, until around 6:00 AM. That’s when I started to feel everything, my epidural had worn off. They paged the anesthesiologist, this time getting a different guy who was apparently the best in the hospital. He moved my epidural to a different spot and gave me a few shots of some random mystery pain killer. We asked the nurse what he gave me, but she had no clue. I felt fine for a couple more hours, and then the epidural wore off again. The next time they gave me a completely new epidural and they set it up so I would have a push button to get some extra dosage every 20 minutes. I made sure I was pushing the button about every 30 seconds, so I wouldn’t miss it when I could press it again. There was no way I was going to be without pain medications again. My mom had come at one point, we had finally gotten a hold of her she had forgotten her phone in the car the previous night. She thought my husband was joking when he told her I was in labor, after he convinced her she brought him some lunch. When my mom came she was the normal excited grandma to be. I was complaining about feeling nauseous to the nurse and told her I absolutely needed something to eat or I was going to throw up. My doctor said I could have something, but then the nurse said I absolutely couldn’t. All I wanted was a cracker or some toast, I know my body if I feel sick if I can get some carbs down I’m normally good to go. Well the nurse refused, and I threw up not once, but twice, my husband and mother holding the bucket for me. It was probably one of the most glamorous moments of my life. Then the nurse says “That’s why we don’t let you eat.” I kind of wanted to slap her, because I knew I had thrown up because I hadn’t eaten anything. Oh well, I would put that nurse through Hell on this day. My mom left very shortly after this whole incident. 

Now moving along, my doctor was long gone from her 36 hour shift and I had a doctor that I had never met. I was fully dilated around 2:00 PM. Apparently the doctor wanted me to wait an hour to start pushing, I have no idea why. The nurse said something about “letting gravity work it’s course”. I think the doctor was just too busy and didn’t want to be bothered. By the time that hour was over the drugs were wearing off again very rapidly. I started to feel everything, yet my legs were so numb it was like they turned into concrete. The anesthesiologist couldn’t do anything anymore; they had tried everything and were baffled by why the drugs weren’t lasting. So by the time I had to push I could feel every contraction. My friend had told me that when you push you feel all of this relief, well that friend definitely had an epidural. Within the first two pushes Aliceana’s head was partially sticking out. My nurse and husband told me how much hair they saw and that I only had a few more pushes left. I had an hour of hearing “Just one more push, you’re so close.” Seriously, these two told me I only had one more push for an entire hour. If I wasn’t working so hard I would have strangled them. I think I had told them to “shut up” with a couple added choice words quite a few times. Unfortunately there was a mirrored tile on the ceiling and I could see what was happening down there as well, it was kind of neat seeing her head, but I really didn’t want to know what was going on down there and it was impossible not to look up. After an hour of pushing I demanded we get the doctor in the delivery room (it was completely news to me that I wouldn’t have a doctor there when I was in labor, I had a few choice words about that too.) I had no progress after the initial two pushes, and I knew I needed a vacuum or forceps at this point. Not to mention I was so worn out, when you have people telling you that you only have one push left you give it all you’ve got and I went on like that for an hour. I just couldn’t push anymore; I wasn’t feeling like a failure, I know some mom’s feel like they failed when they can’t push any longer. I don’t even know what I felt at that point, I just knew I couldn’t keep going. 

The nurse went into the hallway and told the other nurses quite loudly that I had given up and just couldn’t do it anymore, and at that point my mom was back and waiting in the hallway. She was definitely not a happy person to hear the nurse talking about me like that. I’ll never be sure of what happened in that hallway, but what I do know is that the nurse came back in the room crying and apologizing non-stop. See the women in my family are known for having a little bit of an attitude problem. You don’t mess with a Bell girl, ever. I’m pretty much positive that my daughter will have this fabulous gene as well. Sorry, Aliceana! 

Well, once the nurse had calmed down about whatever my mother had said to her she had gotten in touch with the on call doctor. Who decided that she was going to finish up her paperwork for the day in her office (in a different wing of the hospital), then she wanted to check on another patient before getting to me. If you need a refresher, at this point I had part of a head hanging out of my lady bits, I had been pushing for over an hour with no progress, was having insanely painful contractions, and just couldn’t push anymore. I was so livid that the doctor was taking her sweet time getting to me. As a first time mom, I had assumed the doctor would be in the room from the second you start pushing until the very end, this was not at all the case. Heck, even the nurse wasn’t in the room the whole time I was pushing, and even when she was in the room lots of times she was walking around doing other things and my husband had to help me through all the contractions and pushing. Thank God he knew what he was doing (my farmer boy of a husband had delivered quite a few cows in his day and it’s pretty close to the same process even though I get annoyed every time he compares human pregnancy and birth to cows), I can’t imagine what would have happened if I had a husband who was grossed out by the idea of labor and wanted to stay by my head holding my hand. I’m glad I wasn’t holding his hand though, as he had carpal tunnel surgery two days prior to all of this and even through my contractions I had accidentally grabbed his bad hand a couple of times, I felt terrible, but he didn’t even flinch. 

It was almost a full hour later before the doctor came into the room. My husband told me after the fact that she had put on a gown, long gloves, and a face shield. Probably to keep off the tidal wave of blood that was soon to come. It felt like hours before she actually approached me, I had a few choice words again when telling her to hurry. She told my husband to look away when she performed an episiotomy, after 2 hours of holding my legs and coaching me I think it was a little late. I was feeling so much pain at that point that I didn’t even feel her cutting me, it must have blended in with all of the other pain I was feeling. She got the forceps on and told me to push as hard as I could. I definitely made that push count. The next thing I remember is seeing a huge bloody baby being lifted from me. 

She didn’t cry right away, they took her to the little table where they suctioned her, and it felt like hours before I heard her first big cry. I remember those first moments I don’t know if I was talking out loud or in my head, but I was definitely pleading to hear her cry. Then she turned into the feisty little girl she is and she screamed and screamed and made some of the weirdest baby noises I’ve ever heard. My husband got to cut her cord, and he smiled and cried so much when he saw her for the first time. It was amazing, even though I had yet to see her. After he spent a few moments with our daughter I told my husband to go tell my mom everything and that it was going to be awhile before we got cleaned up and she could come in. 

Then I had to deliver the placenta, I’ve heard things about delivering the placenta and how hard and long the process can be and was a little worried. At this point I was pushing so half-assed and it was working just fine. I gave about 5 little pushes and asked if it was out yet, the nurse and doctor both started lecturing me about how I had to keep going to get it out. It wasn’t like I was going to stop I was just curious about the progress. Two more small pushes and it was out. By the time my husband got back from telling my mom I was already being stitched up. This is where I grew very impatient again, it took so long to stitch me back up and without drugs I could feel everything even though they gave me some numbing shots. I wanted to see and hold my baby so badly, and told them so. They said I could hold her while I was getting stitched up, but there was no way I was going to hold my baby girl for the first time when I was in that much pain. I had my hands balled up in fists just to get through it. I’m not even going to tell you how much they cut me, it’s pretty crazy and 3 weeks later I can still feel quite a bit of pain. I will say that her head was 37 centimeters and there was no way that would have come out without all of the help of the episiotomy and forceps. She was 20.5 inches and weighed in at 8 pounds 6 ounces. 

I finally got to hold Aliceana after what seemed like an eternity, and it was the greatest moment ever. Then my mom walks in the room and says “Ok, now let me hold her!”. Nope, no way was I going to let her hold her after waiting that long I needed at least a few minutes with my little girl. Overall, I was in labor for 18 hours at home and 22 hours in the hospital. I think all of my screaming, yelling, and crying probably scared all of the other moms-to-be in the rooms around me. I wasn’t one of those moms who had a huge birth plan, the only things I asked for were an epidural, and no episiotomies. Yeah, that didn’t work out for me at all. I had known all of my life that I would never be strong enough to give birth naturally, and I always had so much respect for the women that could. I think the worst part of my labor was that I would be pain free for a small amount of time, then the intense contractions would come out of nowhere without the build-up of smaller contractions. In the end I had probably the worst experience of my life, but I got the most beautiful little girl out of it. Now if only the labor was the hard part of Aliceana’s journey home, but that was just about the easiest leg of her journey home.