Homesteading isn’t always as cute and dreamy as you’d envision it. There’s hard work, invasion of privacy (ironically), and heartbreaking losses.
We don’t wear cutesy dresses and frolic in fields and spend our days petting goats. I actually bought a long flowy gingham dress because it was clearance and my tween thought it was hilarious. Then one day I was wearing it outside while chasing chickens that got out of their run and I had to laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing would look to those passing our house.
That’s another factor that isn’t cute. We moved out here to live in private, and naturally, we’re a spectacle. Everyone knows everything about all of our projects. People gawk, they stop by and ask questions, it’s all a little too peopley for me. I once had a snobby old lady stop by for eggs, but she clearly just used it as an excuse to grill us with a million inappropriate questions. When a stranger asks if you homebirthed your babies you have to just roll your eyes. I’m not that crunchy lady, I like my epidurals.
Then there’s the loss of animals. It never gets easier. I think it actually gets harder and far more frustrating, when you lose livestock it’s a mix of sadness and deep anger that shakes you to your core. I actually took a little hiatus from well, almost everything. I feel like I’ve been a little bit mentally checked out since we lost two goats to the crazy cold snap we had. It just didn’t make sense, our barn has been adequate for all of our animals in every weather condition, losing two goats within 24 hours to the cold was heartbreaking, and I’m so angry with myself about the whole thing. The ironic thing is now we’re dealing with 40 degree weather and it practically feels like spring.
We couldn’t help the first goat, but I did everything in my power to help the second goat. I was home alone and he was presenting with symptoms of either Polio or hypothermia and I tried getting him as much Nutridrench as possible, in case it was a Thiamine deficiency. His temperature wasn’t rising, it wasn’t even reading. So I got him in the house in front of a fire and it wasn’t enough, he was too far gone. He was comfortable though, and I feel a little better knowing he died feeling loved and cozy instead of dying alone in the corner of the barn. This cold snap was too weird and too sudden after a unseasonably warm winter here in the Northwoods, our boy goats were only 11 months old and didn’t have enough fat to keep them warm.
When you accept livestock into your lives you’re taking lives into your own hands. It hurts to lose them. Not only is it heartbreaking, it’s so detrimental to our little homestead financially too. When we lost the first goat I just laid in bed and I thought about how much of an impact this would make on us, I started to get angry and sad. I wondered if it was all worth continuing, it’s so hard to endure these losses financially too. Then I remembered that I was reading through Job in the bible that week. We all go through our challenges, when Job lost everything he didn’t get angry, he stayed in his faith. Things go wrong, we can learn from them, faith endures through it all.
Written by, Brittany, the geek behind the blog. Sharing tips and stories from the trenches on navigating life homeschooling and homesteading as a stay at home mom.